The Fragile Overprotective Indian Parenting

Hello Everyone! 

Today, what I've personally chosen to address is the Indian Parenting style. I was moved to write about it after having a discussion with a friend. When most of us think of our parents or how they have brought us up, I think we will of course admire them for all that they've done. We are going to be eternally grateful for their presence. 

Nevertheless, when we think about all the good things, we also tend to think about the not so good ones. One of which is their overprotectiveness for their child. Well, we can't generalise everyone under the same banner, but it has been a common observation. 

They tend to love you so darn much that they forget that you too are an individual on your own, or that you'll eventually grow up to be one. All of us do need their cushioning of love, however, we also need a space to experiment, to make mistakes, to learn! 

In a country where parents still pressurise their child to choose a stream of their choice, or to fulfill their dreams rather than the child's own, it is important to emphasise the fragility of their overprotectiveness. 

From all that I've known or learnt, 'A decision made by parents can be wrong, however, their intentions will never be.'

I think all of this stems from the ability to not communicate freely and openly in an Indian household. Most of us have short and to the point conversations with our parents and leave it at that. They have their reasons and we have ours to not bridge the gap. Maybe it is that they won't understand, they'll scold, they wouldn't know, etc. 

I think one of the various reasons why Indian households are typically this way is because this is how our parents have seen their own parents with themselves, or this is all that they've known forever. 

One of my forever favourite quotes is, 'We are all victims of our own conditioning.' 

You apply it anywhere and it holds ground. So, maybe this is how they've been conditioned. 

 

However, genuine efforts never go waste! It is all about trying to strike a balance between what you want and what they want you to be. It is about trying to believe in yourself and making them believe in you too. It is about trying to make them understand that you should be given a chance, and if you failed at once, it is okay to be given another chance; that you'll eventually end up doing what you are meant to be doing, what you want to be doing.

And what I personally think is, that even after all these efforts, if they do not understand for various reasons, then follow your own calling. You should do what you genuinely believe in, be it choosing a subject, a career, a partner, etc. If they do not believe in you today, then someday they will! I don't think it will be selfish of you to do so, it'll be about you embracing yourself and your wants. Later, even if you fail, you'll know you gave it all that was required. 

The silver lining here, apart from their love, is making the efforts for them and you! 

Signing off, 

All my love!